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Joe Scarborough’s Dead Intern Mystery Solved!

Polipace Staff

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In the wake of Matt Lauer, the host of the Today Show, being fired for “inappropriate sexual behavior in the workplace,” Trump called for an investigation into an “unsolved mystery” surrounding MSNBC pundit and Morning Joe host Joe Scarborough, with whom he’s publicly feuded with in the past.

But the “unsolved mystery” Trump alluded to has been solved for years.

“So now that Matt Lauer is gone when will the Fake News practitioners at NBC be terminating the contract of Phil Griffin? And will they terminate low ratings Joe Scarborough based on the ‘unsolved mystery’ that took place in Florida years ago? Investigate!” the president wrote. (He technically wrote it twice after misspelling “that” in the first version of the tweet, which he deleted.)

Trump apparently was referring to Lori Klausutis, a 28-year-old intern who was found dead in Scarborough’s office in 2001 when he was a Florida congressman.

There is zero evidence Scarborough had anything to do with Klausutis’ death.

A medical examiner in Florida found that Klausutis “lost consciousness because of an abnormal heart rhythm and fell, hitting her head on a desk,” the St. Petersburg Times reported in August 2001.

Klausutis was killed when she hit her head on the desk.

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GOP

Tom Arnold Files Charges Against Mark Burnett

Polipace Staff

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Actor/comedian Tom Arnold and television producer Mark Burnett, known for reality TV shows like The Apprentice and The Voice, reportedly got into a physical altercation at a pre-Emmys party on Sunday night. Both the LAPD and Arnold’s lawyer, Marty Singer, confirmed the incident to The Hollywood Reporter.

Arnold tweeted about the incident around Midnight EST, alleging that “Burnett just went apeshit & choked me at this huge Emmy party then he ran away with his torn Pink shirt & missing gold chain.” He also stated that he’d called the police.

Around 9:45 am EST, Tom Arnold reported that he had filed charges against Mark Burnet “in West LAPD.”

<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet” data-lang=”en”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>Sitting in West LAPD filing charges against your best bud Apprentice Outtakes Mark Burnett who lost his mind, attacted &amp; chocked me last nite at Katzenberg’s Night Before The Emmy’s Party. Last fight I got into there was with Harvey Weinstein. Mark Burnett is scared:) <a href=”https://twitter.com/hashtag/TrumpTapes?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>#TrumpTapes</a></p>&mdash; Tom Arnold (@TomArnold) <a href=”https://twitter.com/TomArnold/status/1041729746361475072?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>September 17, 2018</a></blockquote>
<script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>

In response, Burnett’s wife, Roma Downey (of Touched by an Angel fame) tweeted an image of her bruised hand, claiming it was injured during the confrontation. “Got this bruise tonight when Tom Arnold tried to ambush my husband Mark and me at a charity event,” she wrote. “Is your TV show worth it Tom? Please stop.”

Downey was referring to Arnold’s new show, “The Hunt For The Trump Tapes,” which premieres Tuesday on Viceland. The show follows Arnold’s attempts to find tapes that show Donald Trump expressing bigoted views on the set of “The Apprentice,” which Burnett produces.

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GOP

Manafort Will Lose Four Homes As Part of Guilty Plea

Polipace Staff

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Manafort, already convicted, will be pleading in Court Friday on more felony charges in order to avoid another very public trial. He seems to be willing to spend a great deal of money not to go to jail, and doesn’t trust he would be pardoned by Trump – and will be giving up four houses at a value of $46 million.

According to the agreement, he will be also losing his life insurance policy, which will be owned by the federal government. Not sure how that will work exactly, but maybe they assume Russia will “take him out” sooner than later?

A statement from the White House on Friday said the plea deal had “nothing to do with the president or his victorious 2016 presidential campaign”.

The former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort has agreed to co-operate with an investigation into alleged Russian meddling in the US election as part of a plea deal.

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Trump

Crazy Las Vegas Professor Shoots Himself to Protest Trump

Polipace Staff

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A College of Southern Nevada professor faces felony gun charges for shooting himself in a campus bathroom in protest of President Donald Trump, according to his arrest report.

Sociology professor Mark Bird suffered a self-inflicted gunshot wound in the arm the morning of Aug. 28.

According to Bird’s arrest report, a CSN employee told police she spotted Bird walking into a restroom. Shortly after, the employee heard a loud noise, and said she saw Bird walk out of the bathroom with blood coming from his arm.

While attempting to help Bird with his injury, the employee told police he said: “Against Trump.” He was also “rambling” and “excited about all that was going on in the country,” according to the witness.

A CSN student was also near the bathroom when the shooting happened. Bird told her “he’s protesting Trump and that he shot himself because of that,” according to the report.

Inside the bathroom, responding officers found a $100 bill taped to the mirror along with a note that read “for the janitor.”

According to on campus officials, Bird is still employed with the school. It is unclear if he will face disciplinary action.

Bird faces multiple charges including discharging a gun within a prohibited structure.

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